Umm, I quit.

I have a confession to make: I quit the internship about a week and a half ago. I haven’t written about it because I actually don’t want to say anything bad about the organisation…just that it was not for me. Maybe some people think that I should have stuck it out, but if it’s not what I want, then I should not stay. I am not going to become like those people who go to work everyday, hating it. We are not supposed to hate our lives. I actually prayed about it a lot before I made the decision. It was quite a depressing time and I think that is always a bad sign. Some jobs are hard but they should not be depressing on a daily basis. If they are, I don’t think you should stay in the long term.

 

Right now, I am in the middle of a beginner’s Italian language course. I’ve completed about a week and I think it’s going well, but two weeks is obviously a very short amount of time. Unfortunately, I really can’t afford any more than that as language courses are very pricey.

I was speaking to someone after mass yesterday who is in the US army. He told me that prior to moving to Rome, he and his wife did 7 hours of Italian lessons and 2/3 hours of homework 5 days a week for 6 months and he claims that he is still not fluent. I was gobsmacked. I am relying on my prior knowledge of French and the fact that I seem to learn languages quite quickly to get me through. I genuinely think that if I work with Italians, I won’t be long before I’m fluent. I don’t think it is big headed so say that I may not be the best at grammar, but I can pick up a language fairly easily. With that in mind, I am looking for jobs and internships that might put me in a more Italian environment. I cannot carry on living and working with English speakers only and expect to attain a good level of Italian! I am looking into a couple of different places, so prayers would be appreciated 🙂

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6 thoughts on “Umm, I quit.

  1. Have you found any English language churches or does that not bother you? I get a lot out of going to Mass and much of it has to do not only with comprehension, but participation in the liturgy and the hymns. Do you miss that? Or did you go to Latin Mass as a child?

    • Good evening One Legged Man,

      I was raised in a new rite Welsh language church, but it never interested me that much (except for some of the hymns, because they were beautiful traditional Welsh hymns. Not happy clappy ones). I stopped going to church for a while and pretty much abandoned my faith. When I came back to it, new rite masses did not interest me, in fact, they annoyed me and I have left different churches in the past year or so. I think that, for me, the problem with the new rite is what you have highlighted as the main attraction for you: it’s all about our participation. But that’s not what mass is for, it’s about worshipping God. A church is God’s house, God is present through the Holy Sacrament and, really, it doesn’t matter if I feel that I’m being included, it’s about making sure that the focus is on God. As it goes, the congregation does participate in Traditional Latin Mass but just not in the same as with the New Rite. I find that I concentrate so much more because I am not being led through mass like a child. Depending on what mass it is (and who is celebrating it!) I have to watch the priest very carefully to see where we are (especially because I was not raised in the old rite and I am very new to it). I have to look out for different signs and everything the priest does is very symbolic. It’s all about making sure that God is respected because the priest is handling His flesh and blood here.

      I can honestly say that I do not miss New Rite masses. In fact, on the rare occasion when I have to attend mass in the New Rite, I am constantly berating myself for judging this and that person. The last thing I want to do is receive Communion because everyone is so bloody distracting and I have been thinking awful thoughts about that woman who is wearing a really revealing outfit. I’m also watching the priest and just weeping inside when he’s transferring the Eucharist from one place to another and some falls on the table, or he’s handing out Communion like Haribo or people are chit-chatting on the way up to the altar to receive Communion, or people are receiving Communion in the hand and stuffing it in their mouths. I’m not saying that TLM is perfect, because it’s really not. But it’s trying to be perfect, it’s always aiming to be more reverent and I never felt that way with the New Rite.

      I don’t exactly miss the hymns, because you can attend a sung mass with beautiful singing. I will say that when Salve Regina is not sung, I miss it in a big way. I just love Salve Regina though.

      Mr. One Legged Man, am I correct in saying that you are an Anglican?

  2. God gave Italian to the Italians as it is a simple language that even they are able to learn – in fact, it is so easy that even their children can speak it. You’ll be fluent probably by the end of next week.

    (Sorry if my reply is too ‘on topic’ for this post) 🙂

  3. I’m shocked that you’ve quit but I so admire you for it! Is there a TLM in Rome? Also, I used to go to English language prayer meetings in Rome (wouldn’t be your style) but the point is that it was through those that I made some of my best friends in Rome, and once you start making friends, then you hear of other opportunities etc.

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